Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Who Am I Here?

In every new environment I step into, I find myself asking: Who am I here? And what do I have to offer? Will my authentic self be affirmed or rejected in this place?

My first three years in China as a young mom stretched me out of my comfort zone. Large groups of English students frequently crowded into our two connecting dorm rooms. My extroverted husband, quite gifted with the Chinese language, told entertaining stories while our babies got passed around the room. But what did I have to offer? I felt like I simply blended in with our mosquito stained wallpaper.

My conclusion after those early years was that my husband was made for China but I wasn’t. We returned to the US in 1998 for him to work on his Masters degree and got connected with a wonderful church in Kansas. With great relief, I tossed the ill-fitting China shoes into my closet and slid my bruised feet into comfortable American shoes. Finally, I could be my authentic self and fit in.

I no longer had to answer what had become my least favorite question of all time: “What’s your ideal job?” And have my answer of being a mom bounce back at me with a blank stare.
I felt like I had nothing to offer those career-minded Chinese college students. And that felt like a rejection of who I was...

To read more follow this link to Velvet Ashes, an online community designed to provide hope and encouragement to Christian women serving overseas:

http://velvetashes.com/who-am-i-here/ 


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