Thursday, March 17, 2016


Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
(Psalm 139:23-24)

A sincere longing by David, in this psalm, to be fully known by God. Asking Him to search what is hidden and bring it into the light. Desiring a relationship with Him that is unhindered by sin of any kind.

I was caught off guard last night while listening to Daniel read. He often pauses while he's sounding out words to comment on the picture in the book or to ask an unrelated question, but this time he paused in the middle of “Pam likes to nap” to make a confession.

“I'm sorry that I made a face,” he said in Chinese. I turned to look at him. My mind was completely blank as to what he was talking about; he had never initiated an apology out of the blue before. So he repeated his confession and added that he didn't show respect to me when I told him it was time for him to practice reading, when he wanted to listen to The Magic School Bus recording. “I forgive you,” I told him. “Thank you for telling me.”

I confess that I am not a very good model for apologizing, so I knew that Daniel hadn't learned this from me. I think his example must have been David. A few weeks ago he had apologized in the middle of working on his homework, that he hadn't been trying hard and wasn't respectful in his attitude to me. Would I forgive him? Yes. And it completely changed our interaction the rest of that day.

Confession brings what is wrong into the light. And asks to make the relationship right again. Restoration. Redemption. All things made new.

A friend shared with Charly and me this week about how God had used Isaiah 42 to change his life. Verses 6-7 about opening the eyes of the blind were affirming for him to see that God would use him as an instrument to minister to those in need of the Good News. But then, verse 19: “Who is blind but my servant, and deaf like the messenger I send? Who is blind like the one committed to me, blind like the servant of the Lord?” Ouch.

The truth is that I am the one who is blind and deaf. I am the one who needs my eyes opened and my ears unclogged. I need God's forgiveness and cleansing. To receive His mercy that is new every day.

What sin do I need to confess?

Search me, God. And lead me in the way everlasting.

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